she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize