One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”