so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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