Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
