I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
