WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
