highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize