yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
