Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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