I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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