3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
