You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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