ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
