so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
