I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
