I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
