You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
