Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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