It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
