wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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