Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sobbing to NWA
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
