You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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