i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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