I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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