she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
