A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
