I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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