Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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