Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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