so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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