If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
sex in a hospital.. check
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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