break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just gift wrapped bread.
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I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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