around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
