i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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