In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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