Can i not drive my cunt home
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
