Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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