That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
