Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.