i permit you to call me
So how was he last night?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
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Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
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I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap