I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
