apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
