I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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