i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so let's talk penis.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
