just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He better not be in your backpack
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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