So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
