I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
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when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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