she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize