It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
