Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
