I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Someone shit on the floor
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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