Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
