Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
