Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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