So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
