and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
