ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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