i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
