he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
