Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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