she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
