Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize