Its about making memories worth repressing
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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