do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
